Learning how to take care of myself

This year has been my first teaching in a classroom (computers and technology at a Montessori school). It's exhausting, and sometimes (like when PMS hits me like a freight train) I just don't want to do what I have planned. I feel awful and guilty when that happens. I'm the kind of person who is always busy doing something - anything but standing (or sitting) still.

Self-care often comes in the form of chocolate.

This is exactly that kind of week. Instead of mentally beating myself up, I decided to take it easy on myself by giving the kids free time on the computers. I had that planned for next week anyway, and they've been working hard for the last 3 weeks. I think we all earned some down-time.

And there it is, the importance of self-care (especially when you spend 8 hours a day giving all your mental and emotional energy to the young people around you). Some days after work, I don't do anything but heat up some food (not even real cooking!) and watch TV and read cookbooks/blogs/magazines. I feel guilty when I do this because I'm not being productive, but I also know that I need time to recuperate. I need to build myself back up before I can go back to work the next day.

The first year is the hardest: that's what everyone has told me. It's slowly getting easier. There's less guilt about not being more productive. I'm even starting to be able to get things done in the evening. For example, I'm able to break up my sewing projects into smaller tasks that I can do between dinner and the exhaustion that sets in at 10pm.

There's only one thing about this whole being a teacher and self-care thing that has me stumped: how the hell do people with their own kids do this job?